Attitude On A Timer
I must confess. I am a volatile person. If things don’t go my way, I could explode. Sometimes. Lately, I have let things go I wouldn’t in another life. When I first came down here, I was depressed, angry, but most of all, I was disappointed. All that we went through, left me doubting God and questioning my faith. I was in pain. My soul was broken, my heart was bleeding. I thought that this place was going to be my grave, in many ways. To live up the mountains, isolated, so far from the city, is only for those born to endure it. I hated the idea of spending the rest of my days dying of boredom and anguish
I was acting up, like a brat child, throwing tantrums left and right. Ungrateful, offensive, just plain selfish. Another side of me. Sometimes I would just pretend I was ok, so people wouldn’t bother me with stupid question and opinions. My ears were closed, and so was my heart
I’ve been always known for my temper, but this time, I had to make an extra effort to prevent mayor damage. I couldn’t care less for my family’s help. I saw evil and double intentions in everything they did. I felt like I was living on the pity of others. Feeling sorry for myself was the order of the day. My God, I was terrible!
Things have changed a little. I still cry every now and then. Not as much as I used to, but I do. The memories still alive, just subdue by the hope of tomorrow. Things are not exactly the way I like, but I feel much better now. Hope in God’s Word and faith in His promises have given me the strength I need to move on
From being selfish, I became more caring. From being depressed, I became content. From being angry, I became collected and at peace with myself. I see life with another eyes. It is too short to dwell. I have learned, I have grown, and now I must move on. To become stale is not an option. I’m looking forward with faith, hope and resolution
Don’t get me wrong. The timer is still counting. Only my attitude will determine the outcome. Will I let it ring knowing the consequences of that action?, or will I take a step back, be still for a minute and start all over again
We’ll see
- Tuesday- July 27th 2010 | Cat: The Lady Chronicles | Attitude On A Timer | Share | Home | your Opinion? »












